The Secret Language of Twins

Since babyhood, my twin granddaughters, Isla and Mia, had always babbled to each other in a stream of random vowels and consonants. But when they were about seventeen months old, these exchanges began to seem more intentional.

Until then, it hadn’t occurred to me that this gibberish might have meaning, but a quick Google search revealed that roughly forty percent of twins develop “twin language”.

According to Wikipedia Cryptophasia is the phenomenon of a language developed by twins (identical or fraternal) that only the two children can understand. The word has its roots from the Greek crypto-, meaning secret, and -phasia, meaning speech.

The first time I really took notice, Isla and Mia were sitting side by side in their highchairs waiting for lunch. They had recently entered their picky-eating phase and would watch on with interest, as I prepared whatever meal they were about to reject. On this occasion, it was a baby antipasto board (yes, really), featuring diced ham and cheese, zucchini sticks, toast soldiers and homous, with blueberries on the side. Although usually a hit, they eyed this spread with suspicion.

Isla, it seemed, needed to discuss the matter with her sister. She leaned forward in her highchair to get Mia’s attention. Then she went on a tear, complete with hand gestures, as she warmed to her theme. To my ear, it was a series of nonsense words, but Mia was listening intently. When Isla finally wrapped up, Mia shrugged her shoulders, palms open, in what I interpreted as I have no idea what this crap is either. Let’s not eat it.

And they didn’t — not one mouthful. When I tried offering tempting morsels, they clamped their mouths firmly shut. What had Isla said to convince Mia to refuse food she knew she liked?

Within days of the lunch rebellion, their other grandmother had a similar experience when she issued a sharp “No” to Mia to prevent her from touching a hot cup of tea. Mia immediately began a rant to Isla, who responded, with equal enthusiasm. They kept taking surreptitious glances at their grandmother as they continued their disapproving commentary. Grandma Sally told me later she’d felt quite put out. I could sympathise. Nobody likes to be so blatantly talked about, not even by the under-twos.

Sometimes the exchange between the twins was over a toy. If snatching didn’t work, a discussion might ensue. Taking turns, they’d put forward their case, gesticulating with emphatic hand gestures to drive home their point. After a back-and-forth negotiation, the toy would change hands. Or not. But something definitive had transpired between them.

When I showed them a YouTube clip of twin boys of a similar age communicating in twin babble they were captivated, as if seeing other members of their tribe for the first time. At one point in the clip, they both burst out laughing, apparently getting a joke that was obviously lost on me.

It’s not that they wanted to exclude other people from their language. They spoke to us as if we understood, but there was so little we could decode. It reminded me of that well known cartoon revealing what a dog understands when its owner speaks: blah blah blah WALK blah blah blah. In this analogy, I guess, we grown-ups were the dog, staring at them with attentive but confused expressions on our faces.

Most twins outgrow their special language as they gain more exposure to people outside their family. Over a period of months, the twins began using more regular words when communicating with us, but still relied on their own language when talking to each other.

By the age of two-and-a-half, their private language had all but disappeared. Through the baby monitor, their parents would listen to them chatting in their cots each morning, practising their “English”. Isla was always excited to report something to Mia.

Mimi, I have a idea! she’d announce. Then she’d say it again. I have a idea, Mimi, and then once more for good measure. The actual idea, if there ever was one, was never articulated. For her part, Mia seemed content with this cliff hanger. I suppose life was so full of mysteries yet to be revealed, what was one more?

Although the twins now speak exclusively English, I suspect the bond that runs between them is even deeper than language itself.

*This was recently published in The Parenting Portal